The grandchild, prompted to shut off the TV, came over to me. I had just begun work on a crochet project requested by a daughter. It is small. It won’t take long to make it.
“Let’s play games, Memaw,” he said.
I have taught him pretty well. He has mastered the strategy of winning Mancala. No, I do not let him win. He beats me fair and square. Pickup Sticks, Trouble, Monopoly, he is a formidable opponent. He is sharp.
I didn’t want to set my crochet aside, but I did. We retired to the sunporch where he again defeated me soundly at Pickup Sticks. But we never did finish the card game, War. He asked me if I have ever played Go Fish. Yes. Many times. Instead of Go Fish, though, he decided we should build a house of cards. That occupied him until his mother arrived to take him home. He hugged me and charged out the door, “See you in the morning, Memaw!”
We spend a lot of quality time together making memories, this child and me. As he gets older our conversations are deeper, more entertaining, sometimes surprising, often funny. We are best friends.
I learned years ago that setting aside my own interests when one of my children needed some one-on-one attention was the right thing to do. Putting down my crochet freed me to look eye-to-eye with my grandson and listen to what he was saying, what his heart was saying and needing at that moment. My crochet could wait.
My mother used to say that work will always wait for me to get to it, but children will not wait. And family is high on my list of priorities. Number One. Quality time is important.
Quality time is a period of time spent doing things together and not worrying about responsibilities.
Some while back, a study was done to find out how much quality time the average family spends together.
Answer: 37 minutes a day.
Why? Some of the reasons given were the fast pace of the daily life of the American family, long work hours, chores on the weekend to catch up on all the things that did not get done through the week, and kids’ school and extracurricular activities. Husbands and wives do not have time for each other, either. And when they do have a “date” night they often are running errands. They need time to just relax and enjoy doing the things they like to do together, to reinforce the relationship.
As the new school year fast approaches with all those things you will have to work around, find a time when the family is together, like, maybe suppertime. (At our house supper was about 6 p.m. and we were expected to be at the table promptly.) Put away the cell phones. Shut off the television. Sit down together and hear about each other’s day. This is a good time to talk about interesting things, not tension causers. (Mom always said debates and arguments at the supper table were bad for digestion.) Spend time truly listening to and relaxing with your family. Be in the moment. Find some one-on-one time for each of your children. Family needs to be connected, to stand strong together against adversities that rise along the way.
FRC History bites: As FRC celebrates 50 years of community service, we have been highlighting the history of the agency. Eloise Traina has been honored with numerous awards over the years including the Women’s Vision Award from the Ohio Women’s Network in Columbus, the Chief Executive Officers Award for Distinguished Leadership by the Ohio Association of County Behavioral Health Authorities (2010), the Presidential Award from Ohio Alliance of Recovery Professionals (2011), and the Starfish Award for Outstanding Community Service (2012). She also was named a Paul Harris Fellow from Rotary Foundation of Salem (2012).
For help or more information, contact Family Recovery Center, 964 N. Market St., Lisbon; phone, 330-424-1468. Visit the website at familyrecovery.org. FRC is funded in part by Columbiana County Mental Health and Recovery Services Board.