Taking a chance

07/08/2023
Cathy Brownfield

What is the best advice or wisdom anyone has ever shared with you? Who was the source? Why did you find it so good it was worth following? I ask because, you know, we all have asked for advice at some time, but we didn’t always use it.

How did you know the information was reliable, or the person who told you?

As I have told you before, my mother taught me A LOT! She was one of the wisest people I have ever known.

“Don’t follow the crowd.”

“Do your own thinking, make your own choices.”

“Before you blame someone else for something that goes wrong, you look at your own self. (Another way of saying “take the plank out of your own eye so you can see to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.)

“Don’t believe everything you are told.” (Some of it can sound really logical!)

“Own what you do, repair the damages if you can, ask forgiveness and forgive yourself. When you have done all you can do, move on.”

There is something called “confirmation bias.” Have you heard of it? I’ve thought about it. I just didn’t know it had an actual label (silly me) until I read an article at psychologytoday.com. What it means is that we believe something is true so we look for evidence to prove what we believe.

I tend to think in terms of what experiences in my life have taught me, what my eyes have seen and ears have heard, and what my heart understands … my perceptions. That doesn’t mean I am always right. Can we keep that little detail between just you and me? (Perception is the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. A way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.)

Here are some signs of trust in a relationship. The relationship doesn’t have to be a romantic one. It applies just as well to friendships, parent-child relationships, family.

  • You feel committed to the relationship and to the other person.
  • You feel safe with the other person and you are sure he/she will respect your personal boundaries.
  • When you talk about how you feel or what you need, the other person truly listens.
  • It isn’t necessary to hide anything. You can talk about anything together.
  • You respect each other, are willing to be vulnerable and you support each other.

Vulnerable: capable of being physically or emotionally hurt by someone we believed truly loves us. That’s putting your heart right out there and taking a chance on the other person.

I’ve just read that, “A poll in October 2022 found that nearly one in five v

What is the best advice or wisdom anyone has ever shared with you? Who was the source? Why did you find it so good it was worth following? I ask because, you know, we all have asked for advice at some time, but we didn’t always use it.

How did you know the information was reliable, or the person who told you?

As I have told you before, my mother taught me A LOT! She was one of the wisest people I have ever known.

“Don’t follow the crowd.”

“Do your own thinking, make your own choices.”

“Before you blame someone else for something that goes wrong, you look at your own self. (Another way of saying “take the plank out of your own eye so you can see to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.)

“Don’t believe everything you are told.” (Some of it can sound really logical!)

“Own what you do, repair the damages if you can, ask forgiveness and forgive yourself. When you have done all you can do, move on.”

There is something called “confirmation bias.” Have you heard of it? I’ve thought about it. I just didn’t know it had an actual label (silly me) until I read an article at psychologytoday.com. What it means is that we believe something is true so we look for evidence to prove what we believe.

I tend to think in terms of what experiences in my life have taught me, what my eyes have seen and ears have heard, and what my heart understands … my perceptions. That doesn’t mean I am always right. Can we keep that little detail between just you and me? (Perception is the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. A way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.)

Here are some signs of trust in a relationship. The relationship doesn’t have to be a romantic one. It applies just as well to friendships, parent-child relationships, family.

  • You feel committed to the relationship and to the other person.
  • You feel safe with the other person and you are sure he/she will respect your personal boundaries.
  • When you talk about how you feel or what you need, the other person truly listens.
  • It isn’t necessary to hide anything. You can talk about anything together.
  • You respect each other, are willing to be vulnerable and you support each other.

Vulnerable: capable of being physically or emotionally hurt by someone we believed truly loves us. That’s putting your heart right out there and taking a chance on the other person.

I’ve just read that, “A poll in October 2022 found that nearly one in five voters report that politics upset their friendships or family relationships.” These estrangements came about for any number of reasons. I have observed people who were friends for years suddenly were no longer friends during the pandemic. The crisis still exists. Look at the news headlines. Look at social media. Somehow the trust has been broken and we need to work together to rebuild the bridges of communication and family and love.

“[W]hile previous generations found themselves glued together by life-long marriages and large families’ multiple connections, boomers have fewer connections, fewer children, and more divorces,” writes F. Diane Barth, a columnist at psychologytoday.com.

So, where shall we go from here?

FRC History Bites: FRC’s Education Department was established in the Salem office in 1980 with programming throughout the county. During the 1990s the Education Department expanded considerably and relocated to the newly renovated Juvenile Court Center in Lisbon in 1996. Aiming High, a juvenile diversion program funded through the Office of Criminal Justice, was launched the same year. The Education Department moved to the office building on Brookfield Avenue in Lisbon in 2001. The last move was to the current location.

For help or more information, contact Family Recovery Center, 964 N. Market St., Lisbon; phone, 330-424-1468. Visit the website at familyrecovery.org. FRC is funded in part by Columbiana County Mental Health and Recovery Services Board.

ters report that politics upset their friendships or family relationships.” These estrangements came about for any number of reasons. I have observed people who were friends for years suddenly were no longer friends during the pandemic. The crisis still exists. Look at the news headlines. Look at social media. Somehow the trust has been broken and we need to work together to rebuild the bridges of communication and family and love.

“[W]hile previous generations found themselves glued together by life-long marriages and large families’ multiple connections, boomers have fewer connections, fewer children, and more divorces,” writes F. Diane Barth, a columnist at psychologytoday.com.

So, where shall we go from here?

FRC History Bites: FRC’s Education Department was established in the Salem office in 1980 with programming throughout the county. During the 1990s the Education Department expanded considerably and relocated to the newly renovated Juvenile Court Center in Lisbon in 1996. Aiming High, a juvenile diversion program funded through the Office of Criminal Justice, was launched the same year. The Education Department moved to the office building on Brookfield Avenue in Lisbon in 2001. The last move was to the current location.

For help or more information, contact Family Recovery Center, 964 N. Market St., Lisbon; phone, 330-424-1468. Visit the website at familyrecovery.org. FRC is funded in part by Columbiana County Mental Health and Recovery Services Board.

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